We always focus on our mistakes or on things we could have, would have or should have done better rather than focusing on what we’ve accomplished so far.
We are our worst critics.
I didn’t use to like myself very much. I still have lots to work on but I’ve made good progress from where I started. I actually like myself now, kinks, dents, curves and all and it makes me feel like I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it. I remembered the day I decided to give myself some love and how that little moment changed my outlook on life. It was like a fog was lifted and I could finally see clearly again.
It took some time, self-talk and sincere self-love to get there. So how can you move from this self-criticism to self-love?
1. Accept all that you are, the eyes, the nose, the fuzzy hair, the lips, the big thighs and belly, fat and all. Love all the curves or lack thereof. Love what you are just as you are now first and foremost. Only when we finally accept ourselves as we are that we can move on to improving ourselves. It’s not easy but it will be one of the best things you could ever do for yourself in a long run.
2. Learn to say no. Being nice to others is a great thing but you should really draw a line where your limit is and stand your ground. Making others happy at the cost of doing something you don’t really want to is not self-love. Know your limit or you’ll never have that much-needed time to yourself.
3. Have me-time on a daily basis. Set a specific time every day to spend with yourself. This me-time is important. It helps to recharge and restore your energy to get you ready for the next day. It could be just 15 minutes of silence, meditate, take a walk, or sit in the park and give yourself all of you in that 15 minutes. No phones, no messages. You’ll be amazed how replenished you can feel afterwards.
4. Quit comparing yourself to others. We grew up learning to compare ourselves with other people since we were kids. Get good grades. That kid got better grades that I do. That kid ran faster than I did. That kid was more popular. These are the things that suck us into the endless cycle of competitions where there are no goals in sight. Remember that we are unique and start from there. If you are competitive, compete with yourself. Challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday.
5. Be kind to yourself. Many people are very compassionate and kind towards others but are very harsh and mean to themselves. They are very judgemental towards themselves. Well, it’s time to turn some of that kindness and compassion inward. Pat yourself on the back when you’ve accomplished something even if it’s something minor. Give yourself some slack.
6. Forgive yourself as well as you forgive others. Holding a grudge is like trying to hurt other people by holding red-hot coals in your hands. The only person it will burn is you. Let go and forgive. You don’t have to forget when someone hurt your feelings or wronged you. I’m not asking you to forget. Protect yourself just so you can prevent it from happening again but do try to forgive and let go.
7. Be thankful. Gratitude sends out high vibration into the universe. When you are in the state of gratitude you feel blessed and happy. You feel enough. You feel like you have all that you need and you’re on top of the world.
8. Keep a journal. This is a great way to show yourself some love. You could write the journal during your me-time. Talk to yourself, have a deep conversation and reflect on things with your soul and write down everything. Your thoughts, fears, how your day went, what you liked or disliked about it, what angered or irritated you. Release that onto the pages, analyze, reflect and then let go.
9. Be gentle with yourself and your feelings. We always tend to give other people benefit of the doubt. We give people room to make mistakes. We try to understand others. It’s time to give all that to ourselves as well.
So have you showed yourself some love today? If not, this might be the perfect time to start.