Have you ever failed before in life?

I have.
I failed at being an honest person.
I failed at being a good daughter.
I failed at being a good student.
I failed at getting a degree.
I failed at having a perfect figure or keeping it when I have it.
I think I lost count.

I’m sure some of these sound familiar. But in truth, I learned so much from failing.

I learned that it doesn’t matter how many failures I’ve been through, all I have to do is bounce back.

Sounds hard? Not at all.

Here’s what I usually do when I failed something.

1. I wallow
You read right. I just wallow. I let myself wallow. I let the feelings flood me whichever way they can regarding what I’ve done wrong. Guilt, shame, regret, everything. It’s like mourning for lost love. Cry if you have to. I know I did a few times. But don’t stay there. Give it a day or two. Schedule it if you have to. Then move on.

2. I stay realistic and be honest with myself
I acknowledge the mistake. I admit to myself that I made a mistake. It can be painful but it’s necessary to do the next thing. I took the ownership of what I’ve done and I set my mind on learning from this while not letting it get me down.

3. I reflect on things
I reflect truthfully what happened. I look back and think about what went wrong and why and how it went wrong. I don’t try to rationalize my actions. Sometimes, I recruited the help of a close friend or my boyfriend so I can have a fresh perspective on the situation.

4. I forgive myself
It’s pretty much time to let go. I know I’ve made a mistake. I know that it’s done and over with. There’s no way that I can go back in time and change it now. It’s time to move on.

5. I turn to gratitude
Gratitude is one of the best cure for emotional roller coaster once a failure occurs. I would start counting things that I’m thankful for in life that I have.

7. I remind myself that it will pass
Failures, like anything else, won’t last forever. It can be painful and costly but it will eventually pass.

8. I take notes
What can I learn from this failure? What can I do differently next time? What are the lessons here? How can I grow from this?

9. Be extra aware of my self-talk
After I fail at anything, I tend to get really harsh with myself. I can talk myself into depression and that would really be hard to bounce back from. It’s kind of like Hell as depicted in the movie, “What Dreams May Come”. It’s all in your own mind. Everyone made mistakes. It happens. We just have to learn from it and get passed it.

10. I get back on the horse.
I made a mistake. I evaluated what happened and what I could have done better. I think of how I can prevent the same mistakes from happening again. I remind myself what I still have that I should be thankful for. I let go and forgive myself for making the mistake. And I’m not afraid to get right back on the horse.

I think the best thing that I did for myself was when I stopped trying to be perfect. It’s a false goal. It’s impossible to be perfect. I mean, perfect in whose perspective? I just strive to learn new things. My goal is to be just a little bit better than I was yesterday. I considered that day well done.

Failures are our friends. It is the trampoline that we can always bounce back from. It keeps us level-headed, feet on the ground and allow us to learn and keep on learning and I think that’s the best thing anyone can strive to do.

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Never a failure, always a lesson

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