This post wasn’t easy for me to write. It hits a few personal notes but I’d like to share this with you anyway.

I’ve been writing a lot in the past few years. It comes with the territory actually. I started working as a content writer then was promoted to a content manager for online financial products/services companies. That was 4 going on 5 years before a big change happened. I thought this would be a great time to settle into this role as my long-term career path and I was on my way to try to learn as much as I can to be able to do my job better.

Well, I was wrong.

Needless to say, I lost that job. I was given a way out. The way it happened then is funny to me now but it really wasn’t funny when it happened. All I knew was that my role was all of a sudden limited and then I was asked to leave for not performing. And before I was able to make heads or tails of things, I was looking for freelance gigs again. I supposed it could have been worse but it was still financially and emotionally devastating all the same.

I was lucky to have some freelance gigs during all that time so I wasn’t in too bad a position to survive and I have my boyfriend to thank for since he was always there to help support me.

I do believe that things happen for a reason but, seriously, could it happen at a better time?
That was my ‘now, what’ moment. It lasted a few months and my savings was slowly drained although the freelance gigs I landed were able to help tie me over with the monthly expenses.

I’m sure something about me was to blame. I felt like a failure and I wasn’t dealing with it very well. I wanted to find something that wasn’t right about me and fix it. But then weeks passed and I couldn’t see how blaming myself will help me recover from the situation. So I refocus and change how I thought of the events that had passed.

I accepted it for what it was and I was able to move on quickly and, as luck would have it, I landed another job in good time. My new job is in a totally different field as I was working in but it involves writing and lots of it and meeting a lot of cool and interesting people and I am happy with what I have right now. There were some steep learning curves during the first few months. I started to feel more confident and happy about myself again. Now going on the 6th months, I’m settling into my new role quite well and aiming to just be better than I was yesterday. I guess you could say that I bounced back quite well.

All this made me realise one thing. That life is so fleeting. It comes and goes whenever it pleases and there’s nothing we can do about it even if we wanted to. Changes will happen whether you like it or not. Good or bad is all in how you deal with the situations.

Changes come in many shapes and forms. We experience numerous changes throughout our lives. From changing grades in school, changing jobs, changing colleagues, moving into a new house, a new apartment, getting a new dog or cat, etc. It all has to do with changes.

seasons change

Everything implies change

Walking out the door already implies change. The weather today isn’t the same as yesterday. The people you will encounter on your path will be different. We handled it just fine, why?

Because change itself isn’t good or even. It’s neutral. The good or bad is the connotation we associate with the experience we have when change happens and some kind of stress will always follow.

Change can be tough because there is a certain part of us that always want things to stay the same. It’s ingrained in our brains. It’s a part of our existence. In theory, changes should be simple but it scares the hell out of us when we don’t know what to expect. We tend to do things irrationally in order to try and preserve our way of life, our sanity per se. We try so hard to prevent changes from happening, not realising that the things we’re doing ended up stressing ourselves out unnecessarily.

The change will challenge all our pre-existing information we have about life. They might not apply any longer. It entails gathering a new set of information and entails getting thrown into a new set of circumstances which means we have to start learning everything all over again. For some, these connotations are extremely stressful and scary and it’s absolutely understandable.

How a person deals with change and how much stress we put ourselves in depend very up on our core beliefs as we grew up. The core beliefs developed when we were growing up. These core beliefs made up of our paradigms of how life supposed to be. Once something came along that challenge our core beliefs, we get uneasy and fearful. We have more difficulties processing the changes because our paradigms are more ingrained into our brains and changes signal the unknown which causes us to feel stressed out.

Coping with change

It doesn’t have to be hard. We can’t change how our brain works but we can trick our brains to our advantage. The brain likes the information it knows and understands and it hates things it doesn’t know. So if our brain experiences enough change in a variety of ways then it will allow us to operate within the understanding that change is something we can survive and benefit from. Then it won’t be so bad to cope with changes that come into our lives. There will be less fear, stress, and that uneasiness since the information stored in our heads provide evidence that it’s really unnecessary to be stressed out over. This is obviously easier said than done but with practice, it will get easier over time.

Handling the information we use every day requires a lot of work and changes in that information require more work. We’re, in essence, wired to resist change but once we see and understand that changes can bring positive things, it’s better off that we learn to adapt to new things and stay open minded.The best analogy has to be like getting a software upgrade for a computer or a phone. The existing applications might not work so well and they just needed to be upgraded with new codes and patches to keep functioning in the changed environment.

It’s ok to freak out

Of course, it is ok to freak out sometimes. When you are thrown off balance because of the changes in your life, allow yourself a few moments to freak out. But always keep your eyes on the benefits you will gain from that change. Think of the things that will make you feel more comfortable in the new situation or circumstance. Don’t stay fixated on what’s lost and what’s gone forever. That prevent us from experience the good things that will come with changes. Make the best of the now, process the confusion and pain the change might be causing and work on developing a more positive outlook that allows for a brighter outlook into the future.
Has anything changed in your life recently? Are they good or bad? How are you dealing with the changes? Please share in the comment below.
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